I was that kid in 6th grade who asked too many questions…
I remember sitting in Mr. Brennan’s social studies class one day and asking how tectonic plates create mountains (stay with me, I promise this email won’t turn into a science class!).
I was just hungry to learn more…
“So do the moving plates go up to create the mountain and then go back down Mr. Brennan?” I asked curiously.
He just stared at me. His brows furrowed.
“What, what are you talking about?” he asked impatiently.
“You ask too many questions, Melissa.”
Luckily, my mom told me I should never stop asking questions at school. So I didn’t. I just thought I needed to ask them more clearly so teachers would understand.
As I got older, I realized that he probably did understand my question.
He just didn’t know the answer.
And saying “I don’t know,” can be the scariest three words to say when you’re in charge and feel pressure to be the smartest person in the room.
Those words can make you feel vulnerable and inadequate — like you’re opening yourself to criticism, harm, and uncertainty.
It is easier to deflect the question and turn on the person doing the asking…
And make them feel like the stupidest person in the room.
But, if you can be self-aware and face the vulnerability that comes with saying those three scary words, you can become the bravest person in the room.
And then you will also inspire others to learn from their mistakes and realize that failure is just feedback to help us grow.
And that’s when the magic really starts to happen.
So, what do you think? Do you feel the pressure to be the smartest in the room? Have you ever been made to feel like the most stupid in the room?
And most importantly of all — are you ready to be the bravest in the room?
I’d love to know — drop a comment and tell me your story (this is a
safe brave space to share your experiences!).
Melissa
PS You don’t actually have to say: “I don’t know”...
You could say: “I'm not 100% sure how to answer that question, but we can figure it out together,” or: “It doesn't really work like that. I'm not sure how best to explain it to you right now but give me some time and I can tell you tomorrow.”
PPS I’d really love to hear your experience of this in the workplace, I read and reply to each comment I receive, so drop me a line!
Every 2 weeks I'll send you an email packed with value.
And yes, you can unsubscribe at any time.